Music Monday

"[They] Tell me I've changed and I think so too 

'Cause that's what I want - from the floor to a Champion

Trying something new with this blog with routined blog posts coming every other day (I hope)! So to get the ball rollin', here's my pick this Monday. Bobby's a YG Trainee who's been acknowledged for his witty and split second fast rap style. And boy oh boy this guy's jawline is so sharp I bet it could cut through cheese.

I've always been a fan of YG Entertainment (the label to BigBang, 2NE1 with leader CL's upcoming US debut and their latest group, WINNER) and seeing Bobby's growth from "Who's Next?" to "Show Me The Money 3" - which by the way, he was crowned the champion from 3,000 other rappers in South Korea - blows my mind. The talent in this Virginia born '95 year old is crazy. One of my favorites from Bobby would definitely be his final song "BOUNCE". This song despite its heavy message, has a great hook that manages to extinguish whatever anger I have in me (at that moment) and enjoy the damn song.



For those who don't understand Korean, he's basically dissing Idol rappers who rap just 'cause they can't sing and the stereotypes/prejudice that Idol rappers face because of other rappers who aren't good enough. Man this song has been on replay literally at least 10 times a day.

Plus, just look at how cute he is?! Crowned Champion at Show Me The Money 3, he was fully entitled to the 100 Million (yes, million, MILLION) Won and his message to this family members were "Start packing". Bobby, adopt me anytime.

More of Bobby after the cut!

HAIR MANE

C O N F E S S I O N

This is probably the most inappropriate time for a blog post. Nevertheless, here I am - word after word - hoping to let out some pent-up stress I've accumulated thus far.

With submissions and tests literally round the corner (the former in less than 12 hours), I am at a complete loss in terms of study. I don't know what I know and what I don't know. Can someone spell "FAILURE" for me? 'Cause honestly I've been so lost this year/semester that it doesn't bother me that I am failing anymore. Okay that is probably a lie because yes, it does bother me when I fail or perform sub-par or worse, have my work constantly commented on by my group mates simply because my work isn't good enough. 

Which leads me to my next point - maybe I'm just not fit for this. Maybe I do not possess that "Higher-level thinking order" that is the basic requirement for this field of study. Maybe I'm just stupid and I'm just a load of burden that my group mates have to carry. 

Maybe, just maybe, my nonexistence makes everyone's life a lot better.

I just want to leave. Want to quit. Want to stop.
I want to find a reason. I want to understand why I'm studying what I'm studying. I want that spark of blinding fireworks of eureka to happen as I attend school at 8:30AM all excited to learn.

I want all this mundane activities to stop. I don't want to see things in black and white anymore - I want splashes of colors here and there. 

Losing friends, losing myself, the shift from an extrovert into an introvert... I am at a loss.  

I want to feel the sun kiss my skin, and watch the light grow inside of me. So yes, I know better, and yes I will try to do better. I will trust that this uncomfortable feeling will fade into peace, and I will be one step closer to being free in me.